An Angel Sent to Save us...APPROVED!!!
It was a crappy week. I spent hours on the phone, attempting to get IVIG covered. We moved it to an "urgent request," due to the timing of his next proposed IVIG schedule (Monday!). Hunter's behavior still is not where we were previously, but not quite as bad as weeks in the past. After unintentionally hurting a little child (from tripping over his thrown backpack), snapping at us, still struggling in school, I fought as hard as I could to get his IVIG approved.
Thursday, I had a "feel-sorry for myself" day. I had a quick 30 minute break after work before I had to pick up Peyton, so I changed and went for a run. The whole time, all I could think about was my anger towards God. I had just provided speech therapy for five children, in my attempt to "save" them. Half of my caseload as Autism, and my goal all along has been to "save" as many children as I could from this overpowering disorder.
Here I was, working my tail off, planning sessions for these kids...and I could only feel like a failure...
because I wasn't even saving my own child.
I couldn't get him what he needed most.
The hours were closing in on the time we would need to get meds approved.
I picked up Peyton and we ran a few crunch time errands (we were having a small group of kids over for a Valentine's party (Hunter now requests a "party" for every holiday, but since he gets so overwhelmed, we keep it very minimal), and we were late leaving the store to pick up the big kids from school. As we drove down the busiest road in our city, I thought I was seeing something- but realized that my eyes weren't playing tricks. There was an elderly lady standing in the middle of the left hand lane of the two-lane road. I saw cars swerving around her, and immediately I stopped the car next to her, turned my flashers on, and backed up traffic for a good couple of blocks. Nothing mattered to me more in that instant than saving this poor woman's life. As I got out of the car, I could tell I startled her. I gently asked her where she was going, and she did not know. I asked where she lived- she couldn't give me an answer. She had no idea how she had gotten there, and she had no idea where she was supposed to go.
I held her hand, and asked if I could walk her over to the sidewalk. With trembling fingers and tears in her eyes, she told me in a panic, "You're going the wrong way!!"
I looked behind my car, and there was a woman motioning to me to see if I needed help. I gave her a thumbs up, and continued to encourage this poor lady to walk with me over across the road to the sidewalk. Leading her, hand-in-hand, I stopped the right hand lane and was able to convince her to stand on the sidewalk with me. An older gentleman was walking towards us from a parked car on a side street, and I thought maybe he knew her. I asked, and he told me that he had just witnessed our situation from the opposite side of the street and he had come to help. He said his wife had called the police, and he would wait with her.
I realized then that I had left Peyton in the car in the middle of a major road, with cars backed up behind him, and had put him in an unsafe situation. I asked the gentleman if I could move my car, and I pulled into the alley adjacent to the road. After shaking her hand and telling her it was a pleasure to meet her (found out her name was Barbara), I drove away with Peyton to get the other kids.
I'm pretty sure I had just met one of God's angels.
You see, no matter how hard the day can be, no matter the circumstances at hand, no matter how angry you can get with God, he wants to see that you are still a "doer."
As I sat in line, I was emotional wondering how long poor Barbara had been standing in the middle of a major road before someone stopped to help her. I wondered how she had gotten home, if the police had been able to locate a family member or friend to help her.
I wondered if I had saved her life.
That afternoon, I wanted the kids to start their homework immediately due to activities that night. I asked Hunter multiple times to start his writing, and he told me, "I just need to finish this! I need to finish writing this story!"
And then he handed me these four illustrated pages: Just for reference, Iggy is the IVIG bear that was sent to us in a training kit, and he is by Hunter's side for every infusion. I hadn't mentioned anything about Iggy or IVIG that day after school, but Hunter had another message for me:
"Hey sis, said Iggy, I am going to get a new toy when they get here. You think, said his sister? I think so, said Iggy. When Iggy got his IV in he got a toy. Yay, said Iggy. When they were leaving, then they got in the car and drove home. The End."
And I knew, it was time to call.
I called our insurance and prayed for the best...the representative who answered the phone said, "Let me check in the notes...actually, Mamm, it says here you've been approved!" I couldn't believe it. Somehow in my shock, I hung up on the guy. Auggh! I immediately called back, talked with a second representative who confirmed that he was approved. I explained that I had called this morning and it hadn't been reviewed yet- and she said, "It says here it was just approved a few minutes ago at 4:30PM. You called at a perfect moment!"
And that's how you know that God is perfect in every way.
His every move, his every decision, his every test...I do now feel that Barbara was sent here to see if I would drop everything to attempt to save her.
And I passed the test.
Remember those stories and songs about Jesus appearing as beggars, and how would we treat him? Would we recognize him, would we worship him, would we treat him as our own?
It was nothing short of a miracle that our request for IVIG with a new company, with only codes and a simple letter from our physician would grant 6 months of authorization that helps us save our son.
So I may not be saving every child from Autism I encounter through my career. I can't save even those close to me from dealing with adversity. I can't save our family from the struggles that will naturally occur with having a child with special needs.
But we all have the ability and the conscience to save a complete stranger from danger that could be oblivious to their eyes.
And that, my friends, is Jesus attempting to save us all.
Thursday, I had a "feel-sorry for myself" day. I had a quick 30 minute break after work before I had to pick up Peyton, so I changed and went for a run. The whole time, all I could think about was my anger towards God. I had just provided speech therapy for five children, in my attempt to "save" them. Half of my caseload as Autism, and my goal all along has been to "save" as many children as I could from this overpowering disorder.
Here I was, working my tail off, planning sessions for these kids...and I could only feel like a failure...
because I wasn't even saving my own child.
I couldn't get him what he needed most.
The hours were closing in on the time we would need to get meds approved.
I picked up Peyton and we ran a few crunch time errands (we were having a small group of kids over for a Valentine's party (Hunter now requests a "party" for every holiday, but since he gets so overwhelmed, we keep it very minimal), and we were late leaving the store to pick up the big kids from school. As we drove down the busiest road in our city, I thought I was seeing something- but realized that my eyes weren't playing tricks. There was an elderly lady standing in the middle of the left hand lane of the two-lane road. I saw cars swerving around her, and immediately I stopped the car next to her, turned my flashers on, and backed up traffic for a good couple of blocks. Nothing mattered to me more in that instant than saving this poor woman's life. As I got out of the car, I could tell I startled her. I gently asked her where she was going, and she did not know. I asked where she lived- she couldn't give me an answer. She had no idea how she had gotten there, and she had no idea where she was supposed to go.
I held her hand, and asked if I could walk her over to the sidewalk. With trembling fingers and tears in her eyes, she told me in a panic, "You're going the wrong way!!"
I looked behind my car, and there was a woman motioning to me to see if I needed help. I gave her a thumbs up, and continued to encourage this poor lady to walk with me over across the road to the sidewalk. Leading her, hand-in-hand, I stopped the right hand lane and was able to convince her to stand on the sidewalk with me. An older gentleman was walking towards us from a parked car on a side street, and I thought maybe he knew her. I asked, and he told me that he had just witnessed our situation from the opposite side of the street and he had come to help. He said his wife had called the police, and he would wait with her.
I realized then that I had left Peyton in the car in the middle of a major road, with cars backed up behind him, and had put him in an unsafe situation. I asked the gentleman if I could move my car, and I pulled into the alley adjacent to the road. After shaking her hand and telling her it was a pleasure to meet her (found out her name was Barbara), I drove away with Peyton to get the other kids.
I'm pretty sure I had just met one of God's angels.
You see, no matter how hard the day can be, no matter the circumstances at hand, no matter how angry you can get with God, he wants to see that you are still a "doer."
As I sat in line, I was emotional wondering how long poor Barbara had been standing in the middle of a major road before someone stopped to help her. I wondered how she had gotten home, if the police had been able to locate a family member or friend to help her.
I wondered if I had saved her life.
That afternoon, I wanted the kids to start their homework immediately due to activities that night. I asked Hunter multiple times to start his writing, and he told me, "I just need to finish this! I need to finish writing this story!"
And then he handed me these four illustrated pages: Just for reference, Iggy is the IVIG bear that was sent to us in a training kit, and he is by Hunter's side for every infusion. I hadn't mentioned anything about Iggy or IVIG that day after school, but Hunter had another message for me:
Iggy woke up , his mom said to pack your backpack, we are going to IVIG!
He packed his backpack and he and his mom and his sister got in the car and drove to IVIG.
And I knew, it was time to call.
I called our insurance and prayed for the best...the representative who answered the phone said, "Let me check in the notes...actually, Mamm, it says here you've been approved!" I couldn't believe it. Somehow in my shock, I hung up on the guy. Auggh! I immediately called back, talked with a second representative who confirmed that he was approved. I explained that I had called this morning and it hadn't been reviewed yet- and she said, "It says here it was just approved a few minutes ago at 4:30PM. You called at a perfect moment!"
And that's how you know that God is perfect in every way.
His every move, his every decision, his every test...I do now feel that Barbara was sent here to see if I would drop everything to attempt to save her.
And I passed the test.
Remember those stories and songs about Jesus appearing as beggars, and how would we treat him? Would we recognize him, would we worship him, would we treat him as our own?
It was nothing short of a miracle that our request for IVIG with a new company, with only codes and a simple letter from our physician would grant 6 months of authorization that helps us save our son.
So I may not be saving every child from Autism I encounter through my career. I can't save even those close to me from dealing with adversity. I can't save our family from the struggles that will naturally occur with having a child with special needs.
But we all have the ability and the conscience to save a complete stranger from danger that could be oblivious to their eyes.
And that, my friends, is Jesus attempting to save us all.
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