why we run to the beach

optimism.  knowing everything will be ok.  gotta keep the faith.

how do you continue to tell yourself these things, when there is so much uncertainty surrounding a situation?

i know myself.  i know that when an event is soon to take place, or a decision has to be made, or logistics are not set, i get stressed. 

when i get stressed, i get short.  i get distracted.  i get distant.  i start to fall into a different mindset, that i am losing control over everything i want to be able to control. i want to dot every "I" fifteen times, and cross every "T" until it no longer looks like the letter. 

i have devoted my energy and spare time these last two weeks to finding research to prepare for our upcoming appointment with the team.  i need to have everything prepared to make quite possibly one of the biggest decisions of our lives.


 
 
 
so you find a place, an environment that brings you peace, calm, and a type of "zen-ness" that washes over you until you no longer feel like you are wound up like a top.  for us, its the beach. 

the crashing waves, burying your feet in the sand, gazing out into the ocean that seems to trail on forever.     i found this picture when going through our recent vacation and i didn't know peter took it- but i realized i am gazing at the beauty of this earth.  and it looks as though i am the only person on the beach.  thanking god for everything good, yet asking for the one thing that leaves me with a heavy heart.

recovery.

if you look at this picture, you see the beauty of the beach, the water, the blessing of children...and yet still have a child with empty eyes.  eyes that used to sparkle so big and bright..

 

 but then there are the rare times when we can almost spark his spirit....

 

 and try to convince him that life is so much more fun when we enjoy it with our friends and family...

 

and even then, when everyone is looking out, he is looking up...

 

or running away...

 

or worrying about what lies ahead...

but even with distractions, anxiety, obsessions, and sensitivities, and even if surrounded by the natural beauty of God, we can bring him back to the place where he feels the most loved, the most protected, and the most at peace...

in our arms.

 praying for peace of mind in these upcoming days to prepare us for a difficult decision within the journey.