keep him safe in Your arms
Hunter started back to school this week. We had previously decided to only send him on Tuesday and Thursday, when the ratio was much lower. Our reasoning was based around a 50% less chance of exposure to germs, and 50% less stress with lower numbers in the class. MWF the class size doubles...we both didn't think it was a good idea to overwhelm him this week, physically and emotionally.
Our regular ABA therapist found a job in her major, so we knew that she would have to be replaced (BOO HOO!!). As much as we hate losing her for Hunter's sake, if she is half as talented as a music therapist as she is an ABA therapist, she will be amazing in her new job. We heard that a male would be replacing her, and would be shadowing our other regular therapist Tuesday when Hunter returned.
When we arrived at school, his classroom teacher was out sick. His aide in the classroom also had decided to devote more time to her children, so Hunter walked into school, after being out for a whole week, with two new classroom teachers and a new ABA therapist. On top of it all, he was still battling the itchy rash that developed post-IVIG. We had started steroids that morning, which typically don't lend for good behavior in Hunter. So the odds were stacked against him for a hard day.
I checked in several times that morning, and heard he had a 15 minute tantrum, but his day wasn't that difficult. When I arrived to pick him up, I could tell the teachers were holding something back, but I also hadn't met them before...either he had overwhelmed them, or I missed something in the notes. He was asleep when I got there, which is NOT typical...so I was curious as to what had transpired during the day.
After speaking with the therapist, reading the notes, talking to the supervisor and asking several questions, I found out exactly what had happened...the new therapist had restrained Hunter. Anytime a restraint is used, it has to be documented.
Yes, restrained him. For those of you not familiar with restraint, you have to go through a training program in order to use the designated holds on a child in your care. I was trained in my old district, and taught like all others, to only use restraint as a last resort and only if the child is in danger of harming themselves or someone else. You exhaust all other options before putting your hands on the child. This was not the scenario in the classroom that day. The restraint was used inappropriately, following a tantrum that included verbal refusals and turning a chair over.
Now I am not condoning Hunter's actions...but he by no means should have been restrained. I asked Hunter that night to show me what the therapist did to him...and he squeezed his arms at the top and said, "He did it like this"- and then grunted as he squeezed.
Broke. My. Heart.
The CEO of the company ended up calling me that night after my frustrations must have trickled down the line to her. She was highly upset, and there ended up being severe consequences for the employee. She spoke of the amendments, and how any time a child is not free to move, you are taking away their rights. She promised to follow up with me the next day.
I do not like to start drama, but I had to advocate for my son who couldn't do it for himself.
That night was extremely difficult. I held Hunter extra long at bedtime...and told him over and over again that no one was to touch him. I would protect him and not let that happen again.
Only as I left the room, the reality sunk in that I can't always keep him safe. When I entrust him into the hands of professionals, teachers, and others, I won't be there to make sure everyone plays by the rules.
Thankfully, he walked right into the classroom on Thursday; I was worried that six months of trust and work went down the drain and he wouldn't return.
Trust is a virtue that everyone values, and I think is often taken for granted. We just assume that our children will be able to make it through the day and succeed.
Autism takes that trust away; instead of trusting your child to make the correct choices, you depend on others to assist them in the right direction.
Now more than ever, I am hopeful that IVIG will bring us into the ease of teaching those concepts without the brain fogginess. I am hopeful that the aggression will diminish like it did with our steroid burst. I have seen how hard it is to accept another person feeling the need to restrain your child-
and it scares me to think of a bigger, more aggressive child in a few years if changes aren't made right now.
To think that true restraint may be needed someday.
Dear God, please, please, please continue to heal our child. His body may be fighting the change, but our hearts are holding strong. Give him and us your strength for the road that lies ahead.
And always keep him safe in Your arms.
Phil Wickham- Safe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZAUq1-c8dw
To the one whose dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think you're on your own
But you're not alone
Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging sea
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
No you're not alone
You will be safe in His arms, you will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made, He will be with you always
When everything is falling apart you will be safe in His arms
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you now to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone
These are the hands that built the mountains
The hands that calm the sea
These are the arms that hold the heavens
They are holding you and me
These are the hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
To break our chains and set us free
Safe in His arms, safe in His arms
Safe in His arms
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms
Our regular ABA therapist found a job in her major, so we knew that she would have to be replaced (BOO HOO!!). As much as we hate losing her for Hunter's sake, if she is half as talented as a music therapist as she is an ABA therapist, she will be amazing in her new job. We heard that a male would be replacing her, and would be shadowing our other regular therapist Tuesday when Hunter returned.
When we arrived at school, his classroom teacher was out sick. His aide in the classroom also had decided to devote more time to her children, so Hunter walked into school, after being out for a whole week, with two new classroom teachers and a new ABA therapist. On top of it all, he was still battling the itchy rash that developed post-IVIG. We had started steroids that morning, which typically don't lend for good behavior in Hunter. So the odds were stacked against him for a hard day.
I checked in several times that morning, and heard he had a 15 minute tantrum, but his day wasn't that difficult. When I arrived to pick him up, I could tell the teachers were holding something back, but I also hadn't met them before...either he had overwhelmed them, or I missed something in the notes. He was asleep when I got there, which is NOT typical...so I was curious as to what had transpired during the day.
After speaking with the therapist, reading the notes, talking to the supervisor and asking several questions, I found out exactly what had happened...the new therapist had restrained Hunter. Anytime a restraint is used, it has to be documented.
Yes, restrained him. For those of you not familiar with restraint, you have to go through a training program in order to use the designated holds on a child in your care. I was trained in my old district, and taught like all others, to only use restraint as a last resort and only if the child is in danger of harming themselves or someone else. You exhaust all other options before putting your hands on the child. This was not the scenario in the classroom that day. The restraint was used inappropriately, following a tantrum that included verbal refusals and turning a chair over.
Now I am not condoning Hunter's actions...but he by no means should have been restrained. I asked Hunter that night to show me what the therapist did to him...and he squeezed his arms at the top and said, "He did it like this"- and then grunted as he squeezed.
Broke. My. Heart.
The CEO of the company ended up calling me that night after my frustrations must have trickled down the line to her. She was highly upset, and there ended up being severe consequences for the employee. She spoke of the amendments, and how any time a child is not free to move, you are taking away their rights. She promised to follow up with me the next day.
I do not like to start drama, but I had to advocate for my son who couldn't do it for himself.
That night was extremely difficult. I held Hunter extra long at bedtime...and told him over and over again that no one was to touch him. I would protect him and not let that happen again.
Only as I left the room, the reality sunk in that I can't always keep him safe. When I entrust him into the hands of professionals, teachers, and others, I won't be there to make sure everyone plays by the rules.
Thankfully, he walked right into the classroom on Thursday; I was worried that six months of trust and work went down the drain and he wouldn't return.
Trust is a virtue that everyone values, and I think is often taken for granted. We just assume that our children will be able to make it through the day and succeed.
Autism takes that trust away; instead of trusting your child to make the correct choices, you depend on others to assist them in the right direction.
Now more than ever, I am hopeful that IVIG will bring us into the ease of teaching those concepts without the brain fogginess. I am hopeful that the aggression will diminish like it did with our steroid burst. I have seen how hard it is to accept another person feeling the need to restrain your child-
and it scares me to think of a bigger, more aggressive child in a few years if changes aren't made right now.
To think that true restraint may be needed someday.
Dear God, please, please, please continue to heal our child. His body may be fighting the change, but our hearts are holding strong. Give him and us your strength for the road that lies ahead.
And always keep him safe in Your arms.
Phil Wickham- Safe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZAUq1-c8dw
To the one whose dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think you're on your own
But you're not alone
Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging sea
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
No you're not alone
You will be safe in His arms, you will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made, He will be with you always
When everything is falling apart you will be safe in His arms
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you now to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone
These are the hands that built the mountains
The hands that calm the sea
These are the arms that hold the heavens
They are holding you and me
These are the hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
To break our chains and set us free
Safe in His arms, safe in His arms
Safe in His arms
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms
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