Is this what recovery looks like?
I have a hard time even writing about this...I took a few days off from writing to make sure I wasn't crazy.
Or too hopeful.
Or blind.
But the last four days have been absolutely amazing. It started last weekend while Peter and Paige camped. Tiny, minute changes that I couldn't actually differentiate between a "good day" and on the road to recovery. Things just got a little easier. The fits were shorter, there were NO rages, and I took the boys on little outings. We went to our favorite little kid-friendly restaurant and the boys sat at a booth. They both had grabbed the crayons and coloring pages and immediately began coloring. I went to the salad bar, still constantly vigilant, but I was able to turn away a bit longer. When I came back to the table, Hunter showed me his paper and told me he was finding the hidden pictures. He continued to find each one, X out the ones he found, and assisted Peyton in the activity as well.
We had a playdate with our special friend JP, took a walk,
and Hunter had an amazing swim lesson. His new teacher hasn't been able to get him to swim like he did last year- he was swimming laps up and down the pool, front and backstroke. Saturday I encouraged him to put his face in the water and I would follow him down the lane. His teacher's jaw dropped open when he swam, face down, all the way down the lane...and then did it three more times after jumping off the blocks.
She was so surprised- I honestly don't think she knew he could swim like that. When we got home, I told him we were going to do a little reading and math before he could play his electronic or choose a TV show while Peyton napped. No refusals...and read this whole book to me!
The last three days, I haven't had any abnormal fits. Absolutely no rages. His conversation has been amazing- he looks directly in our eyes, answers questions on the first try (we are used to repeating ALL.DAY.LONG), and his speech is so much more meaningful.
And more importantly...he has smiled more these last few days than I have ever seen him smile. He asked to go in to Paige's dance class to watch her dance, and then when we came home, brought a CD in the house and grabbed my hands to dance with him. I would be lying if I said I didn't get tears in my eyes.
This morning, I was able to get the kids dressed, lunch made, myself ready for work, and turn off the computer (we make a daily schedule for him to take to school) with relatively no refusals. He asked to put a TV show on, and I told him no...and instead of doing it anyways, or screaming at me, he put a music CD in instead.
I then experienced what all other moms out there do every day. I walked the boys to their classrooms, kissed them goodbye, and I left.
I actually left a smiling, happy child.
And although I hesitated around the corner to make sure he didn't run out, I kept walking...and I confidently knew he was going to be OK.
And I have to keep asking myself, "Is this what recovery looks like?"
It feels SO good.
We are going on three weeks of Hunter attending preschool without a therapist in the classroom. We have gone from 25 hours/week to 0 hours/week. His teacher greets me at the end of the day with, "He had a great day Mom!"
We have waited so long to have these amazing moments. I know it could be a good day, it could be the weather, it could be the good breakfast he ate this morning...but in my mommy heart, I know we are on the right track.
My sister-in-law sent me a quote from a book she read called Unglued, by Lysa TerKeurst. She wrote: "imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace..."
So even if we have some ups and downs along the road, I know we are walking on the right path.
These stepping stones will bring us the grace we have prayed about for the past three years....
prayer warriors, we can do this!
Or too hopeful.
Or blind.
But the last four days have been absolutely amazing. It started last weekend while Peter and Paige camped. Tiny, minute changes that I couldn't actually differentiate between a "good day" and on the road to recovery. Things just got a little easier. The fits were shorter, there were NO rages, and I took the boys on little outings. We went to our favorite little kid-friendly restaurant and the boys sat at a booth. They both had grabbed the crayons and coloring pages and immediately began coloring. I went to the salad bar, still constantly vigilant, but I was able to turn away a bit longer. When I came back to the table, Hunter showed me his paper and told me he was finding the hidden pictures. He continued to find each one, X out the ones he found, and assisted Peyton in the activity as well.
 |
| eyes are bright again! |
The last three days, I haven't had any abnormal fits. Absolutely no rages. His conversation has been amazing- he looks directly in our eyes, answers questions on the first try (we are used to repeating ALL.DAY.LONG), and his speech is so much more meaningful.
And more importantly...he has smiled more these last few days than I have ever seen him smile. He asked to go in to Paige's dance class to watch her dance, and then when we came home, brought a CD in the house and grabbed my hands to dance with him. I would be lying if I said I didn't get tears in my eyes.
This morning, I was able to get the kids dressed, lunch made, myself ready for work, and turn off the computer (we make a daily schedule for him to take to school) with relatively no refusals. He asked to put a TV show on, and I told him no...and instead of doing it anyways, or screaming at me, he put a music CD in instead.
I then experienced what all other moms out there do every day. I walked the boys to their classrooms, kissed them goodbye, and I left.
I actually left a smiling, happy child.
And although I hesitated around the corner to make sure he didn't run out, I kept walking...and I confidently knew he was going to be OK.
And I have to keep asking myself, "Is this what recovery looks like?"
It feels SO good.
We are going on three weeks of Hunter attending preschool without a therapist in the classroom. We have gone from 25 hours/week to 0 hours/week. His teacher greets me at the end of the day with, "He had a great day Mom!"
We have waited so long to have these amazing moments. I know it could be a good day, it could be the weather, it could be the good breakfast he ate this morning...but in my mommy heart, I know we are on the right track.
My sister-in-law sent me a quote from a book she read called Unglued, by Lysa TerKeurst. She wrote: "imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace..."
So even if we have some ups and downs along the road, I know we are walking on the right path.
These stepping stones will bring us the grace we have prayed about for the past three years....
prayer warriors, we can do this!
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