Taking away the laughter
We have had a hard time with in-home ABA the past few weeks. Hunter has had difficulty, agreeably, when Paige and Hunter get to play, and he is stuck working at the table.
One day, I told him that his therapist was coming at lunch time, and he sighed, and said, straight from a scripted portion of Sophia the First, "You don't want to be stuck in a dining room with boring ol' Miss M." It was SO funny- in the show they say, "You don't want to be stuck all day in the kitchen with Aunt Tildy." He took the phrase and adjusted it to his therapist- and although I knew it was not appropriate, I couldn't help but laugh. Well, unfortunately it became his repetitive phrase.
When I got home from work, his therapist was here and I said, "Oh, I guess you heard his new phrase." She didn't seem amused, and so I explained the situation, the script, and told her that I just couldn't help the immediate laugh that escaped me. She said completely matter-of-fact, "Well next time, don't." And as an ABA therapist, she said the exact thing she was supposed to.
I was really upset. After all of the work we have done, all of the hours we have sat in therapy over the years, and all of the trials we have been through, I absolutely will not stop an automatic laughter response. If you can't laugh at things, where does the joy go?
When we started on this Autism journey, so many things were taken from us. Normalcy. Ease. Light schedules. Normal diets. Nights watching TV instead of researching. Fiction books vs. parenting books focused on behavior, OCD, and non-compliance.
I wasn't about to lose laughter.
I can tell on my hardest days that laughter doesn't come very easily. It's almost like I have to talk myself into smiling, laughing, and pretending that I'm OK. Once you get in that funk, it is hard to come out.
I may have caused a riff with our therapist, who I love, think is extremely knowledgeable, and has done exceptionally well with Hunter...
but this was one instance where I was not about to follow ABA principles.
It is simple.
When you live this life day to day, you can't possibly choke back true laughter.
It has taken me five years to truly stand up and be an advocate for our family, for Hunter, and for our sanity.
We have challenged their recommendations before, like placing a top lock on his door so he can't get in during tasks, etc...but I have to keep reminding them that this is our son.
He is a little boy, deserving of a room to call his own, and I am not about to padlock his safe place.
I am very confused on our state of therapy at this point. I talked with his supervisor at lengths about the trouble we have been experiencing, and she made an excellent observation.
"If Hunter is doing well in school, and you aren't experiencing trouble at home, then why are we putting him through a state of distress? We aren't doing ABA therapy just to get better at ABA therapy."
It is such a hard decision. Part of me says, NO, every child with Autism NEEDS ABA therapy. After all, Peter and I just advocated to the top of his company and they have now included ABA benefits for open enrollment next year for his large corporation.
But on the flip side, are we just reinforcing agitation when he sees two therapists coming in to make him work and be the fun spoilers?
Has he grown out of ABA? We have a big decision to make.
Just one of the many we make along this journey...
but rest assured, we will remember to enjoy each moment with genuine laughter.
One day, I told him that his therapist was coming at lunch time, and he sighed, and said, straight from a scripted portion of Sophia the First, "You don't want to be stuck in a dining room with boring ol' Miss M." It was SO funny- in the show they say, "You don't want to be stuck all day in the kitchen with Aunt Tildy." He took the phrase and adjusted it to his therapist- and although I knew it was not appropriate, I couldn't help but laugh. Well, unfortunately it became his repetitive phrase.
When I got home from work, his therapist was here and I said, "Oh, I guess you heard his new phrase." She didn't seem amused, and so I explained the situation, the script, and told her that I just couldn't help the immediate laugh that escaped me. She said completely matter-of-fact, "Well next time, don't." And as an ABA therapist, she said the exact thing she was supposed to.
I was really upset. After all of the work we have done, all of the hours we have sat in therapy over the years, and all of the trials we have been through, I absolutely will not stop an automatic laughter response. If you can't laugh at things, where does the joy go?
When we started on this Autism journey, so many things were taken from us. Normalcy. Ease. Light schedules. Normal diets. Nights watching TV instead of researching. Fiction books vs. parenting books focused on behavior, OCD, and non-compliance.
I wasn't about to lose laughter.
I can tell on my hardest days that laughter doesn't come very easily. It's almost like I have to talk myself into smiling, laughing, and pretending that I'm OK. Once you get in that funk, it is hard to come out.
I may have caused a riff with our therapist, who I love, think is extremely knowledgeable, and has done exceptionally well with Hunter...
but this was one instance where I was not about to follow ABA principles.
It is simple.
When you live this life day to day, you can't possibly choke back true laughter.
It has taken me five years to truly stand up and be an advocate for our family, for Hunter, and for our sanity.
We have challenged their recommendations before, like placing a top lock on his door so he can't get in during tasks, etc...but I have to keep reminding them that this is our son.
He is a little boy, deserving of a room to call his own, and I am not about to padlock his safe place.
I am very confused on our state of therapy at this point. I talked with his supervisor at lengths about the trouble we have been experiencing, and she made an excellent observation.
"If Hunter is doing well in school, and you aren't experiencing trouble at home, then why are we putting him through a state of distress? We aren't doing ABA therapy just to get better at ABA therapy."
It is such a hard decision. Part of me says, NO, every child with Autism NEEDS ABA therapy. After all, Peter and I just advocated to the top of his company and they have now included ABA benefits for open enrollment next year for his large corporation.
But on the flip side, are we just reinforcing agitation when he sees two therapists coming in to make him work and be the fun spoilers?
Has he grown out of ABA? We have a big decision to make.
Just one of the many we make along this journey...
but rest assured, we will remember to enjoy each moment with genuine laughter.
Reading time...
Making homemade play dough!
And a fun visit from our friends!! Celebrating the little man's birthday...
Minions sleep
cute playdough flowers!
Comments
Post a Comment