Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving holiday, we were surrounded with family and friends who reminded us of the many reasons we are so thankful. 

We are thankful for our support network.

We are thankful for our jobs, which allow us to provide for our family and give us the opportunity to supplement Hunter's schooling with his much needed and appreciated therapy.

We are thankful for each other, for without our internal support, we would not get through the long days...and we rely on one another immensely.

We are thankful for our own little family...we are raising three children and attempting to give them each the best tools suited for their own needs and personalities.

First, there is Paige.  She is a beautiful, caring, sweet-natured little girl that time and time again demonstrates her loving heart and never-failing big sister guardianship.

However sweet and kind she is the majority of the time, we do see those moments when being a big sister to a brother with special needs can be kind of difficult.  For instance, when we can't run out to the school festival because he is having a meltdown.  Or when a play date gets cut short b/c of a therapy appointment or a screaming fit.  As hard as we try to involve Paige in every activity she requests (within reason) and not have her sacrifice events/activities/alone time with mommy/daddy, there are those instances that are unavoidable and unfortunately upsetting.  I don't expect her to be perfect always...but sometimes I find myself looking at her with the expectation that she has to be good- because I can't handle more than one child melting down at the same time.  It's an unfair expectation, because just like you and I, she has bad days as well.  She has days when she needs a little more attention than the others...and just because historically she has been "so good," we need to allow her to have those moments of just needing us. 

 

 

Then there is Peyton.  The baby of the family...the one in the history of order who typically gets the most attention.  He is non-stop, all boy, athletic and searching for ways to expend that energy.  Peyton is a little follower...when Hunter walks upstairs, he follows right behind.  When Paige has a friend over, he wants to be right there, playing American Girls with them.  He is sweet-natured as well, with those kisses and hugs that you wouldn't trade for anything first thing in the morning. 



 

 

 

 But then sometimes I look at this sweet, innocent face, and realize that he has a level of frustration as well.



 

I don't like seeing him upset and frustrated, and I see many of the learned behaviors that I wish were never present in our home.  Throwing toys when he doesn't get his way, hitting us when he gets mad...and yet I know that when I have one-on-one days with him these behaviors disappear.  Parenting this little one is a challenge for us, because I know I have little worries in the back of my mind and I compare his own little "quirks" to Hunter.  Even though he is social as can be and does not have imminent signs of Autism, I will worry until he is probably school age that his blood brain barrier won't be breached and PANDAS will develop.  

 

 

And finally, there is Hunter.  Sweet Hunter.



 With an infectious smile and eyes that used to dance when you looked at them.  I used to have people stop me and tell me how amazing his eyes were.

 Trying how to figure out how to keep that eye gaze.  How to keep him engaged. How to manage his behavior. How to make important medical decisions that would ultimately make a difference in his life. And how to show him that we love him unconditionally.

 

 

 
So if you take each of these children and look at their very different personalities, you get overwhelmed at the tremendous task that parenting involves.  How do you make them all see the talents they have been given and use them to the best of their abilities?

 



 

 

 Living with a sibling with a disability can cause stress on the family and their relationships.  However, we have attempted since the beginning to have patience, faith, and gratitude for the many blessings we have been given.  So instead of asking "why" we have been given a tremendous challenge in parenting, we are thankful for the challenge that allows us to see the beauty of unconditional love.  These three children, different and still yet the same, will help one another in many ways throughout their lives.  And they will continue to learn daily from not only us, but from each other.