Off to a rocky start

First day of kindergarten!! I was a bundle of nerves last night, and Hunter must have been as well.  He fell asleep immediately at 7 :45, but was awake at 3 AM.  I never heard him- oops! Peter heard someone out on the couch, and there he was, all curled up with a blanket staring at the clock.  "It's a long time until 6:00!"  He took him back upstairs and he thought Hunter fell back asleep, but when he came in at 6:02 (we tell him he can't come in our room until at least 6 AM), he said, "I have been waiting for a long time for it to be 6!" So we are assuming this little man never fell back asleep, since as soon as he laid next to me, he was out.  Not a great way to start the big school.

After K and 2 shaped waffles, we attempted to take first day pictures.  Why do I have to be the mom who wants the cute printable signs- Hunter wanted nothing to do with pictures.

Big Second Grader!!!

 This picture of Hunter cracks me up!!  A friend told me to send it to Ellen Degeneres, so I did.  We'll see if she thinks it is as funny as we all do!  Like one of our friends said, one day we will look back on it and all have a good laugh.

We walked into school with relatively no issues.  He seemed excited and Paige was the proud big sister leading the way.

 His teacher told him to put his lunchbox away, and later I found out from Hunter he got upset b/c he wanted to throw it in the blue, not the white one.  So, of course, he tossed his lunchbox on the ground, along with his Mcqueen.  I was able to talk to him and give him a second chance, so he went and put it away.

 He followed me to his seat, and I told him I was going to have to leave.  The hitting started gently, and then became more aggressive as the new parents next to me stared with wide eyes.  I took him out in the hallway and across to the special ed room.  The behavioral therapist who was stationed outside the class followed me in there.  I had to laugh with Peter for a minute when we realized who all of the staff were posted up in different spots- it was like a secret covert mission.  Half expected a walkie-talkie to be pulled  out.  They were prepared!

I got down on my knees and looked at his beautiful eyes, grabbed his hands, and told him that he was going to have a fabulous first day in kindergarten. I told him I would be there at 3:00 to pick him up and could not wait to hear about all the fun he had.  As I smiled big, hugged him tightly, and waved as I walked away, I knew I was about to leave disaster.

But I had to keep on going, b/c the worst thing you can do for your child who is anxious about a new situation is let them see your own anxiety.  You smile big, and let them know that they are safe, they are cared for, and that you love them.

I had asked the SLP who was also stationed in the hallway to email me to let me know how he was doing, but she said they would all be pretty busy.  I was used to last year, where my therapist would text me several times throughout the day and let me know his struggles, as well as his celebrations.

My anxiety was centered around the loss of control that I will now experience.  I can't check in on him during an eight hour day- I just have to trust that he will be OK.

I forgot to send his napmat, so Peyton and I snuck back up to school and I truly wanted to be that stalker parent and park on the street to watch him during his upcoming recess.  But again, I have to let him go on his own.  He has the wings to fly.

I texted Peter before I left the school, and told him I wanted to stay and watch H, and he said, "I just pray that he is comfortable and is having an OK first day.  It doesn't need to be great or even good. Just comfortable for him to think it is an OK place going forward."  True that, my smart hubby.

I obsessively checked my email and call log for the next several hours.  No message.  We arrived at school ten minutes early so I could make sure we were there when he exited the building.  I saw him walking towards me with the district lead SLP.

waiting for the big sibs

paige walking out - her first day as a second grader!

hunter bringing up the rear

much better smiles

The teachers told me that the morning was really rough (over 100 hits to ABA therapist), kicking, screaming, didn't like the noise in PE...he didn't participate in any of the morning routine.  However, after lunch ("I didn't sit by anybody, Mommy"- kills me), he "turned it around." He stayed in the classroom, listened to the story, and was much calmer.  I stopped his classroom teacher before we left and she said the morning was pretty rough, but then he was better- she seemed extremely surprised by the child that was there in the morning.  I can imagine- meeting this sweet boy who he prayed for in church because he "loves her"- and then seeing him rage like no other.

When we got home, it was time for the promised milk and cookies!!

 And then their favorite parts of the day.  Yes, there were some faves for Hunter!

Praying these next few half-days will help him adjust to this new school and show these teachers his sweet, smart inner self.

If you are the praying type...
pray for his confidence.
pray that his anxiety weakens.
pray that he meets a friend with a "soft soul"
pray that the teachers don't kill me for my stalker emails
pray for the correct guidance by the school psychologist and therapist
pray for his sweet teacher, that she will continue to see his true personality and not give up hope for this little boy.

And pray for his parents to believe in his ability to do this-

and lose the fear behind the game face.