Reflecting on Mother's Day

A recognized day for so many...Mommies of babies, mommies of grown children, mommies of special needs children, mommies who mourn for their lost children, and those who have always yearned to be a mommy. 

This Mother's Day, I thanked God many, many times for the three blessings he has brought into my life.  We went to a later Mass today, after a long run and a relaxing morning.  Peter took Paige and Hunter to light a candle, their little ritual after Communion, and I sat with Peyton, holding and rocking him like a baby as I listened to one of my favorite songs sung by the choir for the reflection time, "I Will Rise."  Peter and I lost a friend three years ago (has it really been that long??) and that song carried me through the period of mourning my husband's best friend, and also being there to comfort my husband who was hurting so badly.  So as I sat there, thanking God for my blessings, and praying to God to give me the strength to continue on our journey with Hunter, I became overwhelmed with emotion for those mommies who have lost a child.  My mother-in-law, my friend's mother, my friends who have lost a baby in utero, a stranger that I have followed on FB who tragically lost her little girl in a playground accident...and somehow my journey seemed minuscule. 

No matter how hard this journey may be, no matter how many sleepless nights, no matter how long some days seem, I am still able to hug and kiss this little boy who does cause me difficulties, but overwhelmingly trumps them with joy and love. 

Yesterday, as these realizations still compelled my thoughts, I heard not one, but all four of my praise songs....Blessings (Laura Story), I Need You Now (Plumb), Worn (Tenth Avenue North), and I Won't Give Up ( Jason Mraz) all within a fifteen minute period.  One after the other, the songs came on the radio.  I even switched the station at a commercial and heard the last song in its entirety. 

A sweet friend of mine gave me a devotional book last weekend and I started reading it every night- "Jesus Calling- Enjoying Peace in his Presence."  The reading was SO perfect...

"Do not resist or run from the difficulties in your life.  These problems are not random mistakes; they are hand-tailored blessings designed for your benefit and growth.  Embrace all the circumstances that I allow in your life, trusting Me to bring good  out of them.  View problems as opportunities to rely more fully on Me. "

"Most of the situations that entangle your mind are not today's concerns; you have borrowed them from tomorrow.  In this case, I lift the problem out of today and deposit it in the future, where it is veiled from your eyes.  In its place I give you My peace, which flows freely from My presence."

Mother's Day was the perfect opportunity to lift the Autism diagnosis from my shoulders and just enjoy being a mother.  Instead of being a speech therapist, play therapist, sensory diet therapist, ABA therapist, chauffeur, scheduler, chef, house cleaner, wound healer, and mediator, I was mommy.  I didn't focus on the tomorrow, but I lived in the present.  I didn't wear several different hats on Mother's day- I was JUST mommy.

Looking at the sweet love in these pictures, I can't help but smile at the beauty inside each of them.

Hand-tailored blessings designed for my benefit and growth.