Behind that Smile
In honor of Dr. Seuss's birthday, here's a worthy quote:
"Don't cry because it is over; smile because it happened."
A smile doesn't mean that your life is perfect. It doesn't even mean that you are having a stellar day. Sometimes, though, I am amazed at how many people I greet within a day and don't return a smile. When I was deep in the first few months of dealing with a diagnosis, I can remember mechanically getting through the days, just following my routine. I didn't stop and smile. I'm pretty sure I didn't always greet with a warm expression. I was losing my happy persona.
A few months later, I realized that I didn't have to wear my inner feelings on the outside. I started looking at people in the eyes again, and was blessed to receive smiles that brightened my mood. Those smiles, from friends as well as strangers, brought me out of my darkness, because no one needs a smile as much as those who have none to give.
Mother Theresa said, "Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."
Sometimes, the biggest smiles are the ones that hide the deepest pain; warm eyes have cried the most tears; and kind hearts have felt the most adversity.
It was time to give back.
Hunter's smile is so beautiful. Even though, at the moment, it is quite empty as he lost another tooth at school yesterday. We didn't see that smile for the majority of the start of this Autism journey, and we have finally been able to get his true, loving smile back again.
Hunter had a dentist appointment yesterday afternoon, which usually causes much anxiety. I prepped him for the "looking" appointment, and told him the dentist would be taking pictures of his teeth. He has several teeth that have been on a "watch" status due to possible cavities. He sat calmly in the chair, but as soon as she took her mirror to glance at his teeth, he started hitting and crying. She was able to complete her re-examination, and he left the room to go and play the video games at the front with Peyton.
Due to her concern with his "spots," she gave me a few options. As she had previously recommended, we could take him to the OR and have him sedated, so they could take x-rays, seal any teeth without cavities, and fill the teeth that had decay. That OR visit would include full sedation measures- intubation, etc. Our other options were to watch and wait, or we could find someone that did in-office sedation to do the fillings.
I asked her if we could do the x-rays right then, so we could have a clear picture of what we needed to do. At first she said, "We aren't going to be able to get x-rays today." I told her he was relatively calm, and she explained it was a very expensive camera that went into his mouth, and he would have to stay very still to get a worthy image. She didn't know if it was worth the radiation exposure to attempt it with Hunter.
I was disappointed. I just knew he would do it. Or I just really wanted him to be able to try.
Hunter came back in the room, and asked me a very calm, detailed, intelligent question, which I could tell surprised her. She looked at him and said, "Hunter? Will you let me take some pictures of your teeth?"
He shuffled his feet, and in his low voice, looking at the floor, said, "I guess so."
She stood up and told her three assistants they were going to give it a shot.
I was happily surprised she was going to take the risk...and she agreed to let him watch a video on my phone while they did the x-rays. I held it up for him to see as he tipped his head back, and after making four movements around the chair, they completed most of the pictures of his teeth...with only a few gags and little complaint. After I told them that they were my heroes, we went to review the x-rays. The spots she had been watching did show a little decay, but there were plenty of areas that she had been concerned with shadowing that were not cavities.
She was very comfortable going forward with watching and waiting, since she was able to capture the detailed images of his pearly whites.
She did show me his discolorations- on the surface of his teeth, they have yellow dentin showing (like the sheet rock in your walls). He has ground his teeth so hard, and so long, that they have exposed part of the teeth.
He also has a large discoloration on the enamel of one of his front teeth, which she said typically appears with high fever at a young age when the teeth are forming. Thanks, PANDAS.
I hugged her after her explanation, and told her how happy I was that she was willing to try the x-rays with Hunter. She saved us from sedation and the OR.
Instead of saying, "You're welcome," she said, "I'm sorry I didn't try with him sooner."
And just like that, Hunter has made another impact on an individual.
I know in my heart that he will not be the last child with Autism that she attempts an unlikely procedure with- he was just the first.
So we are keeping his smile as healthy as we can. Cutting down snacks to allow his mouth to return to a normal pH level, limiting more sugar, swapping Honest Kids Juice Boxes at school lunch for plain water, and continuing to brush and floss his teeth for him. There are just some things that we can't let him do on his own.
Tonight at bedtime, Hunter was extra affectionate, hugging, kissing, rubbing my hair. I tried to get up three times, but he kept saying, "Just one more time, Mommy." I laid back down for the last time, and he gave me the biggest smile in the world.
"You know what Hunter?"
"What, Mommy?"
I told him, "I am so glad God picked ME to be your mommy. It was one of the best presents he could ever have given me."
He closed his eyes, but his smile didn't go away.
It was there to stay.
I hope you always find a reason to smile, my sweet boy.
"Don't cry because it is over; smile because it happened."
A smile doesn't mean that your life is perfect. It doesn't even mean that you are having a stellar day. Sometimes, though, I am amazed at how many people I greet within a day and don't return a smile. When I was deep in the first few months of dealing with a diagnosis, I can remember mechanically getting through the days, just following my routine. I didn't stop and smile. I'm pretty sure I didn't always greet with a warm expression. I was losing my happy persona.
A few months later, I realized that I didn't have to wear my inner feelings on the outside. I started looking at people in the eyes again, and was blessed to receive smiles that brightened my mood. Those smiles, from friends as well as strangers, brought me out of my darkness, because no one needs a smile as much as those who have none to give.
Mother Theresa said, "Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."
Sometimes, the biggest smiles are the ones that hide the deepest pain; warm eyes have cried the most tears; and kind hearts have felt the most adversity.
It was time to give back.
Hunter's smile is so beautiful. Even though, at the moment, it is quite empty as he lost another tooth at school yesterday. We didn't see that smile for the majority of the start of this Autism journey, and we have finally been able to get his true, loving smile back again.
Hunter had a dentist appointment yesterday afternoon, which usually causes much anxiety. I prepped him for the "looking" appointment, and told him the dentist would be taking pictures of his teeth. He has several teeth that have been on a "watch" status due to possible cavities. He sat calmly in the chair, but as soon as she took her mirror to glance at his teeth, he started hitting and crying. She was able to complete her re-examination, and he left the room to go and play the video games at the front with Peyton.
Due to her concern with his "spots," she gave me a few options. As she had previously recommended, we could take him to the OR and have him sedated, so they could take x-rays, seal any teeth without cavities, and fill the teeth that had decay. That OR visit would include full sedation measures- intubation, etc. Our other options were to watch and wait, or we could find someone that did in-office sedation to do the fillings.
I asked her if we could do the x-rays right then, so we could have a clear picture of what we needed to do. At first she said, "We aren't going to be able to get x-rays today." I told her he was relatively calm, and she explained it was a very expensive camera that went into his mouth, and he would have to stay very still to get a worthy image. She didn't know if it was worth the radiation exposure to attempt it with Hunter.
I was disappointed. I just knew he would do it. Or I just really wanted him to be able to try.
Hunter came back in the room, and asked me a very calm, detailed, intelligent question, which I could tell surprised her. She looked at him and said, "Hunter? Will you let me take some pictures of your teeth?"
He shuffled his feet, and in his low voice, looking at the floor, said, "I guess so."
She stood up and told her three assistants they were going to give it a shot.
I was happily surprised she was going to take the risk...and she agreed to let him watch a video on my phone while they did the x-rays. I held it up for him to see as he tipped his head back, and after making four movements around the chair, they completed most of the pictures of his teeth...with only a few gags and little complaint. After I told them that they were my heroes, we went to review the x-rays. The spots she had been watching did show a little decay, but there were plenty of areas that she had been concerned with shadowing that were not cavities.
She was very comfortable going forward with watching and waiting, since she was able to capture the detailed images of his pearly whites.
She did show me his discolorations- on the surface of his teeth, they have yellow dentin showing (like the sheet rock in your walls). He has ground his teeth so hard, and so long, that they have exposed part of the teeth.
He also has a large discoloration on the enamel of one of his front teeth, which she said typically appears with high fever at a young age when the teeth are forming. Thanks, PANDAS.
I hugged her after her explanation, and told her how happy I was that she was willing to try the x-rays with Hunter. She saved us from sedation and the OR.
Instead of saying, "You're welcome," she said, "I'm sorry I didn't try with him sooner."
And just like that, Hunter has made another impact on an individual.
I know in my heart that he will not be the last child with Autism that she attempts an unlikely procedure with- he was just the first.
So we are keeping his smile as healthy as we can. Cutting down snacks to allow his mouth to return to a normal pH level, limiting more sugar, swapping Honest Kids Juice Boxes at school lunch for plain water, and continuing to brush and floss his teeth for him. There are just some things that we can't let him do on his own.
Tonight at bedtime, Hunter was extra affectionate, hugging, kissing, rubbing my hair. I tried to get up three times, but he kept saying, "Just one more time, Mommy." I laid back down for the last time, and he gave me the biggest smile in the world.
"You know what Hunter?"
"What, Mommy?"
I told him, "I am so glad God picked ME to be your mommy. It was one of the best presents he could ever have given me."
He closed his eyes, but his smile didn't go away.
It was there to stay.
I hope you always find a reason to smile, my sweet boy.
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